


oh, tainted love

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Demons, Dominance, I don't know, M/M, One Shot, harry's super aggressive alright, nick is like a scared puppy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 23:11:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/855060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick didn't want to believe it. He was one to ignore things he didn’t want to see, ignore them until they went away, to not bat an eyelid until someone made him. This was just the case right now, sitting on his couch, fingers tightly grasping his mug and blankly staring at the television.</p>
            </blockquote>





	oh, tainted love

_( sometimes I feel I’ve got to run away )_

Nick didn’t want to believe it. He was one to ignore things he didn’t want to see, ignore them until they went away, to not bat an eyelid until someone made him. This was just the case right now, sitting on his couch, fingers tightly grasping his mug and blankly staring at the television. Inhaling deeply, the man lifted his fingers up to his hair and laced them in, grasping tightly and pulling. Shutting his eyes tightly, his breath shuttered and he just wanted to curl up and sob. This couldn’t be happening, not to him at least.

Sure, he saw those silly shows. The ones on at half one in the morning, will the insane looking old men and the creepy looking ladies. You know the ones, claiming to have seen aliens or have been possessed by demons? Nick normally laughed until he wet his pants with Aimee, curled under their duvet and making fun of the alleged stories. So right now, Nick didn’t want to damn well believe it. 

It had been too obvious, too real to forget it though.

He fell asleep like that, curled up, the T.V buzzing in the background, thumb stuck in his mouth and thoughts hammering his head.

_(and I’ve lost my light)_

Nick would normally be excited for these two weeks to come, but instead he felt the bile rise up when anybody mentioned it. Twice in the studio he had thrown up in the bathrooms because he couldn’t handle the stress. He also forgot for a while that the source of his anxiety was staying at his for two weeks. Mainly because they were not really but kind of boyfriends and Nick had hinted that he was allowed to stay there for whenever he came home.

Monday morning, Nick woke up to a koala curled around him with the name of Harold and bags piled up at his door. He breathed heavily, panic settling into his bones and stiffening them. He chanted the, ‘it’s fine, it’s still Harry has always been Harry, there’s nothing wrong’ over and over, but he simply couldn’t relax. His breath was snagged and restricted and his brain kicked in. Prying himself swiftly out of the clammy grip, his hands fumbled around for the inhaler on his dresser. Taking two short puffs, he gasped for air and gripped tightly onto the covers piled on his chest.

Hearing the duvet rustle, Nick turned his head and glanced down at Harry, who was looking up at him with groggy confusion. He saw the problem flash in Harry’s eyes, the thing that had caused him to start this whole panic. Inhaling sharply as Harry sat up, Nick tried calmed himself. Letting an utterly fake sleepy smile cover his face, he forced his body to numb and collapse against Harry. Curling his fists into the younger man’s shirt, he rested his chin on his belly. 

Harry looked down at him worriedly, hand threading through Nick’s hair and petting it softly. “What happened? Are you okay?” His voice was full of concern, full of worry and adoration and Nick wanted to scream. Wanted to throw things because this wasn’t _fair_ , this wasn’t supposed to happen to _them_. He didn’t though, he just nodded his head and pulled back, knuckles skimming over his eyelids before saying; “Nightmares, sorry. It’s been happening a lot recently.”

His whole life was a nightmare really.

_( for i toss and turn and i can’t sleep at night )_

The show was rickety and nervous and the crew were suspicious. He covered it up with pointing out Harry had been home late last night and winked, which they obviously took to mean they fucked. Nick felt the bile get caught in his throat again, because he would have to. He would have to kiss him and fuck him, pet his hair and cuddle up until they both fell asleep and act like he still loved him. Nick felt like he would rather die.

When he got home and pushed the door open, the smell of cooking drifted at him. Tilting his head lightly, he toed off his shoes and padded softly into the kitchen. His curly haired boy sat at the counter, shovelling fresh cookies into his mouth. Nick let the adoring smile slip onto his face, taking his seat on the opposite side of the counter and leaning over to press a light kiss onto Harry’s nose. As he pulled away though, with Harry’s eyes looking up at him through his lashes, it happened again.

Nick couldn’t cover up his reaction this time. He pulled back swiftly, eyes widening and choking on air. His hands gripped the counter edge tightly and his chair wobbled, nearly tipping. With short breaths, Nick stared at Harry and whimpered. The boy opposite looked panicked, his voice on a high pitch as he spoke to Nick.

“Nick? Nickie are you okay? What’s wrong? You’re scaring me,” The concern in Harry’s eyes was flashing, as he leant over to reach out to the older man. But that just sent Nick tumbling off his chair and backing against the oven. He looked frantic, eyes darting and trying not to even glance over Harry. But he heard the metal scrape of a chair and suddenly Harry was in his space, gently touching his arms and whispering calming things.

Nick’s head bent back, shoving his whole body into the oven and trying to keep as much distance from the other as possible. The grip on his arm tightened slightly, Harry leaning even closer and trying to catch his eye. “Nick, tell me what it is. I can’t help until you fucking tell me,” he said, with a rather forceful undertone. Gulping heavily, Nick’s eyes fluttered closed for a few heartbeats.

“I can’t, Harry- I just, can’t fucking ignore it anymore. Your fucking eyes, I- Harry, wha- Just, what the fuck are you,” he managed to stutter out, eyes opening wildly and breath rapid. Harry had completely stilled, muscles tensing and his grip on Nick was going to carve bruises in. But he didn’t let go, not even when the caring look on his face dropped and was replaced with a completely blank slate. All he did was pull away, dragging Nick with him and back him against the wall. He pressed into him, nose centimetres away and breath settling hotly on Nick’s mouth.

“I fucking thought so,” he growled out, twisting his grip sharply and pushing his chest into Nick’s. His other hand slammed against the wall beside the older man’s head, causing him to flinch and whimper. “Here I was, hoping I could get away with this. Thinking I wouldn’t have to face this problem like I had to do with Zayn”, his hand hit the wall again, “but of fucking course. You just had to look at all the wrong moments didn’t you? Catch me off guard; catch me when I was thinking of all the pretty things I could do to you.”

Nick had long since frozen, his eyes prickling with tears and his arm burning with pain. His back ached from being slammed against the wall, his ears ringing from the close call with Harry’s fist. His fear was bubbling everywhere, breath short and his skin numb. He watched with terror filling every inch of his body, as Harry’s head tilted and a grin crawled onto his face. Nick’s body locked up and bile rose to his throat again, as cold spindly fingers traced his cheek, brushing back stray hair and ghosting over his lips.

“I can still do them though,” the words were whispered softly, causing the older man to pale, to want to scream. “I bet your skin takes cuts so deliciously, I know you bruise beautifully,” his voice was smothered with love, gentle and kind like he was saying words of commitment. The context that voice was used with though, made Nick sob and gasp for air for a few seconds, before trying to get a grip on himself.

Harry’s free hand had found itself on Nick’s hair and was carding through it softly, just before his face twisted and he pulled on it harshly. Nick’s head was forced back, forehead banging against the cold wall and his neck was exposed painfully. His mouth hung open, gasping for much needed breath as he tried to look down at Harry’s face. The grip on his arm was gone, but the pain still clung on. Instead the hand was spread on the wall beside Nick’s head, helping the young man to keep his balance. 

The giggle that escaped Harry was full of delight, his legs parting and hips pressing up against Nick’s. His tongue darted out to trace the defined lines of the other’s neck, dragging roughly over his collarbones and just below his ears. His mouth settled on where his neck met his shoulders and he bit down contently. He lapped at the skin with his tongue, before sucking harshly and digging his teeth in as hard as he could.

He drew back a minute later, his teeth having drawn blood and coloured the pale skin bright purple. He let his tongue lap at the dribbles of blood escape the wound. He looked up at Nick, who was moaning weakly, fists curled into the front of Harry’s shirt.

It took little time before their eyes locked, until bloodshot green met pitch black.

_( oh, tainted love )_

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i am sorry ect ect. primrosemorphsuits be my gryles blog and like omg should i make this a oneshot series? i loved writing this even if it was crap and like yum


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